30 July-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHUKIM!!!!
the girl who's always there to supply us with glue and blanko =)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
4-letter words
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly, she burst out crying. "But mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language...things I had never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... Please, mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed. They're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset...Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly, she burst out crying. "But mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language...things I had never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... Please, mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed. They're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset...Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Results for Tamathon
5W's 2nd Annual Tamathon 2009
Organizer : Hooi Sin Yee & Elizabeth Tan
Starting point : 5W
Ending point : Outside Chem Lab
Flag-off time : 8.10 am (When Tam started running)
Results
First Leg :
1st :Leong Jian Wei
2nd : Wong Yuan Hong
3rd : Choong Sheue Li
Second Leg :
1st : Choi Choon Lian
2nd : Wong Yuan Hong
3rd : Leong Jian Wei
Videos will be uploaded soon...
For those who didnt win, better luck next time...
Organizer : Hooi Sin Yee & Elizabeth Tan
Starting point : 5W
Ending point : Outside Chem Lab
Flag-off time : 8.10 am (When Tam started running)
Results
First Leg :
1st :Leong Jian Wei
2nd : Wong Yuan Hong
3rd : Choong Sheue Li
Second Leg :
1st : Choi Choon Lian
2nd : Wong Yuan Hong
3rd : Leong Jian Wei
Videos will be uploaded soon...
For those who didnt win, better luck next time...
Monday, July 27, 2009
Birthday Boy 28/7
Happy birthday to our smart and handsome Yi Sheng XD...
May ur birthday wishes come true..
Bio Test
REMINDER : Biology Test on Wednesday 29/7
Passing mark : 60%
Study Chapter 4 : Reproduction and Growth
All the best!!!!
Passing mark : 60%
Study Chapter 4 : Reproduction and Growth
All the best!!!!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Letc spek German
For all of you English speakers. Hear is something for laughs
or shall we say lafs.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.
or shall we say lafs.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.
MAS?
Two men dressed in pilot's uniforms walk up the aisle of the
airplane. Both are wearing dark glasses‚ one is using a guide dog.
The other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin‚ but the men enter the
cockpit‚ the door closes‚ and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing around nervously‚ searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.
None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway‚ and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water‚ panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment‚ the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly‚ and soon all return to their magazines and conversation secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit‚ one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says‚ "You know‚ Bob‚ one of these days‚ they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
airplane. Both are wearing dark glasses‚ one is using a guide dog.
The other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin‚ but the men enter the
cockpit‚ the door closes‚ and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing around nervously‚ searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.
None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway‚ and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water‚ panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment‚ the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly‚ and soon all return to their magazines and conversation secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit‚ one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says‚ "You know‚ Bob‚ one of these days‚ they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
Monday, July 20, 2009
Ms Teng's Birthday
Check this out!!!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Nostalgic, aint it?
Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint
letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....)
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had
not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful
website....HOW?
I alleviated the boredom by playing with my t..ticles for a few minutes
- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
skilled bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important t..ticle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't
care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.
I thought BT were s.it, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful
customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't
anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.
British Telecom - w..nkers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons
of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless
employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of *****.
John
letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....)
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had
not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful
website....HOW?
I alleviated the boredom by playing with my t..ticles for a few minutes
- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
skilled bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important t..ticle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't
care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.
I thought BT were s.it, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful
customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't
anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.
British Telecom - w..nkers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons
of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless
employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of *****.
John
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Quote of The Day
'90 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom' - my bro
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Lie Detector
Jon, Jian and Ken are called upon to test a lie detector .
Jon says: “I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer”. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Ok”, he says, “10 bottles”.
And the machine is silent.
“Ok”, he says, “10 bottles”.
And the machine is silent.
Jian says: “I think I can eat 15 hamburgers”.
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Allright, 8 hamburgers”.
And the machine’s silent.
Ken says:
“I think…”,
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Allright, 8 hamburgers”.
And the machine’s silent.
Ken says:
“I think…”,
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
say no to bahasa melayu
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
this is what will happen if we study BIOLOGI in BM!
1. uterine wall/endometrium = dinding uterus
2. Fallopian tube = tiub Fallopio
3. Corpus Luteum degenerate = korpus luteum merosot
and many many more,
eg, (this is in the chapter Locomotion and Support)
-- Bab 12 Pergerakan dan Sokongan
Pada anterionya, terdapat satu lekuk yang bersendi dengan sepasang bonggol di dasar kranium. Sendi ini menyokong tengkorak dan membenarkan kita mengangguk.
Pada posterionya, terdapat dua POSZIGAPOFISIS (wth is this) untuk bersendi dengan vertebra aksis.
lalalalalala enjoy studing in BM
vote in tun mahathir's blog http://chedet.co.cc/chedetblog/ =D
BIRTHDAY BOY
wenhan and i so excited about our medicines we brought during our japan trip!
(i dont have any better photos ToT)
happy birthday wen han!!!!!!!! WOOOO
too bad he's starving LALALALALA
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Equations
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Boss and Secretary
Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down. His secretary walked up to him and asked, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your gate?"
Boss was not smart enough to understand, so he went back into his office looking a bit puzzled! When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up..
He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, then boss finally understood.... He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary. When he reached her desk, He said, "When you saw the gate open did you see my BMW parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Kancil 600 with 2 flat tyre."
Boss went back to his office murmering... kan ni neh....
Boss was not smart enough to understand, so he went back into his office looking a bit puzzled! When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up..
He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, then boss finally understood.... He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary. When he reached her desk, He said, "When you saw the gate open did you see my BMW parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Kancil 600 with 2 flat tyre."
Boss went back to his office murmering... kan ni neh....
Friday, July 3, 2009
We gt owned by mdm sarah
2day me, choon, ken, n jon threw hong outta the class
then mdm sarah threw us outta the class (including hong)
- the end -
then mdm sarah threw us outta the class (including hong)
- the end -
Concert Practice...
Hey ppl...Now is concert practice..
Today we miss Bio class...
Haiz...Concert Practice so long leh...
Today we miss Bio class...
Haiz...Concert Practice so long leh...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Too Much
There are four people from different counties on the Petronas Twin Towers.
One is Japanese, one is French, one is Malaysian, and one is Indonesian.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first.
He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy.
He throws off a condom - There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Indonesian.
He throws off a flower.
There are too many disasters in my country - I hope the people who died in disasters will be in peace.
Next goes the Malaysian.
He looks around him and picks the Indonesian up and throws him of the building and says - There are too many Indonesians in my country.
One is Japanese, one is French, one is Malaysian, and one is Indonesian.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first.
He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy.
He throws off a condom - There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Indonesian.
He throws off a flower.
There are too many disasters in my country - I hope the people who died in disasters will be in peace.
Next goes the Malaysian.
He looks around him and picks the Indonesian up and throws him of the building and says - There are too many Indonesians in my country.
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